great dining

If you're looking for gourmet dining and a relaxing atmosphere, then look no further than the campus center. Just head downstairs and find your way to Benny's Bistro.
I just went there for dinner tonight, and it was extremely pleasant. One of the first things you'll notice is the presence of higher technology. That's right, there are not one, not two, but three machines which take orders! with touch-screen capability! Oddly enough, the next thing you will notice is that not one of these machines is functioning. When you politely ask one of the workers for some help, they will coarsely shout over the counter, "You just gotta un-plug it and plug it back in!" Despite the educated advice of the fry-cook, you are unable to fix the machine. You are now beginning to notice the overwhelming scent of burnt hair. You look back at the unkempt staff, two women are talking to each other and the fry-cook is texting on his phone. They seem to have completely forgotten about your dilemma. You then might suggest to one of the women that perhaps you could just tell her your order since the machines are broken. She will look at you like you are the worst person on earth. She asks you what you want, as you notice the gang of black flies circling through the dense, smelly air. "A cheeseburger," you say foolishly.
"That's the grill," she says, as if you did not know how a cheeseburger was made. She returns to her conversation with the frail old woman who keeps petting the lettuce. You realize that your order is not her problem; you have to wait for the grillmaster to come back out from the backroom. After ten minutes of batting away flies, the grillmaster shows up in all his glory - he's not wearing gloves and his pants are undone. He is a very tall middle-aged man, and he has a grin that just violates you. "I was doing inventory," he says, as he zips up his fly. You wish you hadn't ordered a cheeseburger. You briefly wonder why so many middle-aged and older people are working here, but then a fly lands on your face and you almost gag. The grillmaster heats up a burger patty that he cooked three hours ago at the beginning of his shift and throws cheese on it. You then make another mistake by asking for fries. The zit-faced teenager standing in front of the fryers looks insulted, and he seems to be wondering how you manage to be so annoying. He is, of course, completely unprepared for orders. He goes to the backroom and comes back with a a bag of cold fries to dump in the sizzler. You consider leaving without the fries because you're tired of waiting, but then you realize that you actually don't care anymore. You're not even hungry and you have a headache. You decide to wait, so you can have a personal victory. You go to get a drink as you wait, and you find the floor stained brown in front of the soda-machines. Naturally. You can't expect the employees to clean the floors every shift. Or even every day. They're busy, complaining about the rude customers. You fill up a drink as your new sneakers stick to the slimy floor. After preparing your drink, you turn back to the fry guy. He pulls out the newly cooked fries and shovels some of them into your tray without adding salt or shaking off the grease. You take your tray and say "thanks" out of habit and immediately want to take it back. You bring your meal over to the counter and sigh of relief. At least you got your meal.
"I can't give you this meal," the clerk says after she swipes your student ID.
"Why not?" you ask. You know that you still have meals on your card for this week.
"You can't have two meals in the same meal zone," she says pointing to a piece of paper on the wall behind her. "You already had a meal three hours ago."
"Well that was three hours ago, and it was a small meal," you say. "Isn't there a way around this?"
"I could put it on flex, but you're out of flex dollars."
You've never had a dark thought in your life, but you suddenly imagine murdering everyone in the room. "I don't get it," you say. "Why is that even a rule?" You are very mad at this obese woman, who is scanning your card again and again, as if that's the solution. You pull out your wallet and hand her a ten dollar bill. "Ya know," you say, "this place is miserable."
"No kidding," says the fat lady. "I pulled a double-shift last week, and I actually went three hours before I noticed that I had soiled myself." She hands you the change, and you walk away with your food. You have no response for the fat lady, and you don't care any more. You just want to sit down and watch television and eat your food. You sit down on the couch in front of the TV in the eating area. No one is here, but there's fries and trash all over the floor. You start eating the food, which is incredibly dry and tasteless. At least you can watch some sports now and relax, but what's this? The TV turns off for no reason. You look around. You continue eating the sub-par food when the TV turns back on. Hm. The top ten sports highlights come on, but then the TV turns off again. A janitor limps over and looks at the mess on the floor, then he looks at you, then back at the mess. "Damn kids," he says.
"Hey," you say and look at the janitor's deformed face. "This TV keeps turning off and on."
"Yeah," he says. "It does that." He picks up a handful of french fries off the carpet and begins chewing on them. Then he limps away. You just nod and sit there speechless in front of the broken television. You want to throw your food on the floor to express your anger with the system, but you know only the janitor would suffer, so you carry it to the trash. On your way out of the campus center, you check the mail. You have a letter from the school - tuition is being raised to 45 grand next year. Hm.